Before I get into the real stories, I wanted to do just one more cliff hanger. But this is relevant. This is about CUSTOMER SERVICE. And for once I will speak as the customer in this situation and juxtapose (the word of the year) that to the customer service I have given at my job.  

I don't know what the problem is these days. I don't know if people just don't like tending to me as a customer. I don't know if I remind them of the devil or something because they hardly look at me. I'm unsure if I resemble somebody that has done them wrong in their life, or if I'm just not the kind of person they wish to speak to but as soon as they're done with the person in front of me I can assure you that there is a complete attitude shift from how they treat the person before me vs. how they treat me. 

Soon, the smile is gone. They do not ask me how I'm doing, they barely say hello. They proceed to scan my items as if I'm not worthy of a second look. As if I'm ugly. HA! As if the items just magically appeared and an imaginary person is about to hand them money in exchange. I'm almost convinced they would've treated the imaginary person much better. Still not looking me in my face, they don't even tell me the total to my purchase. 

I say "they" because this has happened on multiple occasions at many different places. Sometimes employees don't even bag my merchandise when a bag is actually needed. What are you any good for? 

You guys need to understand something. I'm a HOT head. (Thanks baba.) If you can't tell already. When I feel disrespected by someone for no reason, my automatic reaction is to rip your ass apart. 

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?  AND WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU? I JUST WALKED UP HERE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, NO DIFFERENT. I didn't slam my stuff on the counter, I didn't THROW MY CHANGE AT YOU, I'm merely EXISTING. These are things that people do to me ALL THE TIME and I still don't really change my attitude. I won't be as gracious but I'm still respectful. 

So let me tell you about YOURSELF CASHIER. YOU'RE A CASHIER IF YOU NEEDED A HEALTHY REMINDER. And you aren't even doing your JOB CORRECTLY. I can say so because I'VE BEEN ONE. And I've done it RIGHT. *plays drake: I'M NOT NEW TO THIS.* AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'm A RETIRED CASHIER who has seen it all. There have only been a few times where I've had the pleasure of defending myself from a customer and trust me, if you don't start none, WON'T BE NONE. I'm very easy going until you tip me off. Don't do it. It's not pretty. 

I've never once not asked someone how they were doing, never once not greeted anyone, never once not told the customer their total, never once started off on the wrong foot even if I had a bad day. Never once not bagged their items, THE HELL? I even listen to you guys talk shit about how much we suck and I'm STILL NICE TO YOU. I expect the same in return. Especially from grown ass women. You mad you're a cashier? WHO'S FAULT IS THAT? NOT MINE. So do your job sweetheart. DO YOUR JOB. 

To people who run the establishments, get your people in check. Make them like their job more. THAT'S YOUR JOB TOO. See, people need to do their JOB. 


Xxxxxxx's yo



The Fitting Room



(Read this part like you're hosting a freak show)

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Welcome to the mystical land at the far right (or left depending on where you're standing) end of the store. With its bright neon light sign that people still seem to miss even though they might be standing five feet away. A deep, dark place where behind roughly 20-30 closed doors fashion, and many other.....eventful.... things come to life. 


To the Fitting Room.

(End voice) 

There are a range of different personalities that come alive in this place, and there are a range of things that should never happen in any place that have happened here.

Brace yourself.

I've seen pads stuck to the walls, some near the cash register. Swear to my mother, I'm not lying. Some people have decided that it's okay to leave their child's diaper in the fitting room as well. Nope, not done. People have peed in the fitting room. Some have thrown up, apologized, and left shortly after. Making us clean it. People faint. It's a thing. Ambulances arrive. Plenty of theft but I'll handle that accordingly. Is it a hospital or is it the station, I don't know. I don't wanna give too much away already...but.....moving on...

I am going to do some serious calling out in this post. So for anyone who gets offended easily, I will kindly ask you now to please exit to your top left. (or right?)

If you’re still here, I ask you to empathize for us, the ones who’ve had to deal with these personalities. I will now carefully deconstruct each personality and how it comes alive.

First, there are rules:

1. No more than 6 items at a time.  2.  No jewelry and accessories or shoes allowed INSIDE of the rooms. 


5.     Attendant counts and takes customer's items to the room.  (One less thing to worry about....)

  All the customer has to do is bring back the clothes and bring back the number back. 

Here are some personalities:

The way too attached mother.


Ah yes. She is a great mother. She probably makes cookies for all of her children’s friends, is always on time or early, and an extremely involved and dedicated mother. Or she might just have a type A personality and wants to be in control at all times. She’s also very opinionated and having been so successful and on top of her shit running everyone’s lives, she now thinks it’s appropriate to run other people’s businesses.

She’s the lady that insists on going into the fitting room with her 25 year old daughter. Okay, maybe 17 year old, but still. She insists on going inside the room, that is comfortably room for one. Why? I have no idea. Not only does she insist, but she gets really upset when we say kindly, she is not allowed. 

“She’s MY daughter,” she says.

My alter ego says....Yes, she is. And I’m sure she is fully capable of dressing herself.

But actually I say,  “Ma’am it’s our store policy, only one person per room.”

Not like that makes it any better. All we hear for the rest of the time is complaints and all we get is dirty looks. Even when we thank them.

“I’m never coming back,” she says.

They do though. Always.  

The Raunchy Boyfriend


This guy is forever trying to get inside the room as if nobody would notice. Makin his way from the outside of the fitting room, scurrying in when "no one is watching" only to be told to exit the room because, you know, sex isn't allowed in public. Are we that thirsty for down and dirty time? If you're okay with a small room I'm more than sure you'll be even happier with a motel. There's one right across the street. You're welcome. 

"This is lame," he says. 

Sorry not sorry. I'm not here for it. But if we're going to allow this kind of behavior to happen, I think there should be an hourly rental room rate. 

The Girl Who Tries Everything on But Buys Nothing


Hi. Yes Hi. You. Still roaming around the store. Hi.

It's been just about all day. You've tried just about everything on. And of course you're one of the last girls to be leaving the store as it just closed a half an hour ago :D!!!!!!!! But you're still here!! :D! Trying things on!! :D!! AND BUYING NOTHING. But pretending like you are. BUT YOU'RE NOT. But it's OKAY. Because you'll be back again tomorrow. DOING THE SAME THING :D!!


OH you know these. Bringing the whole crew up in this bih. Bum rushing my zone like a pack of fucking wolves and I'm dinner. Yelling "CAN WE ALL GET A ROOM NEXT TO EACH OTHER?!?!?!" Rushing up to me with bags upon bags of clothes that my rack can't even handle. Half if not more than half you WON'T buy. Takin up the whole damn row. YEAH SURE this whole area is VACANT JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR TEAM BOO. All of it. Shit we should start asking for reservations. This team is a mixture of hot mess, sorority tee shirts, stick straight hair, and the girl mentioned above. 

The Overbearing DAUGHTER

Same as too attached mom. Just daughter. One girl almost tried to fight me over it. We'll get to that later.

The Sugar Daddy


I know. I know. I'm taking this too far. But he is there. He really is. Yet not as raunchy as the raunchy boyfriend. Sometimes with two of'm. Zipping one up. Checking in on the other. Checking out everyone else too. Throwing suggestive winks like "this could be you." How sweet father dearest, but I would hate for your REAL daughter to catch you in here with her TEAM. They get kinda crazy. 

The Highschooler's on Break or Ditching Class


Same as WHOLE SQUAD ON THAT REAL SHIT. Just younger and way more annoying and disrespectful. It literally makes me hate myself for ever behaving like that if I ever did.  

The Diva Man

Let me be clear on this guy. This is not one of the fabulous gays, but rather the pretty boy, regardless of his style that hauls in as much clothing as his diva girlfriend. The two together are a complete train wreck to both the men's section and the fitting room. Only consumed with himself. Portraying massive entitlement. I blame your girlfriend.

Which brings us to...

The Diva Girl 

She always acts like it's just too much for her to shop here, but she's always shopping here. I mean I get it, it's very overwhelming. I had to CLEAN IT UP so I know. But it seems to me that the overwhelming-ness doesn't bother you or you wouldn't be able to bring in like 4 bags every time you come in here. 

You guys don't get me wrong....if you're buyin HALF even a little less then HALF of that shit, GO AHEAD BRING IT IN.

But if you just wanna fuck with me...lord.........I don't have time for endless dress up. It's like this endless fantasy dress up play house, I swear to God I don't get paid enough for that. 

 Moving on.....

The Stinky Ones


Behold. The woof of curry, B.O, feet, pee, etc. Some people just choose to not shower at all. And that is none of my business. But damn, it's about to be when it comes to me not being able to properly breathe. What the ACTUAL FUCK though? You don't smell yourself?  Oh no way because you're too busy letting the rest of US suffer for you to even realize. One try on session with you equals 1-2 full business days of garbage smelling fitting room. Do you just sit in there and marinate? Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH. Now everyone else is going to be like "Oh, these bitches are nasty, they don't shower." Good looks..........

 The Grandma

She's my favorite. She gives no trouble to anyone. Not to me at least. 

Imma stop here.....I know I'm QUEEN of cliffhangers. 

We'll get to the fun stuff soon I promise.  



The Policy

Key: ()= internal thoughts.


Ahhh, the store policy. The most controversial thing about XXI.
You know what's really funny actually...
I've said the exchange policy countless times. Since I work there and all.
But in my own words.
Ain't nobody trynna say that whole novel with those four dollar words.
With that being said, I wanted to get the actual version verbatim and put it on here so I could tear it apart. So I did what anyone else would do.

I googled it.

Much not to my surprise I did not find the actual store policy. Instead I found the policy for purchases online. Yes, there is a slight difference. I imagined myself a customer looking for the store policy, and not finding it kind of enraged me. So FOREVER 21 why don't we do something about that?

See, I got your back when it calls for it.
Than I bought some panties. Got a receipt. And now here it is.

The store policy. STRAIGHT from the receipt. With my rationale added. 

Corporate: "Exchange or store credit is allowed within 21 days of purchase with original receipt and tags attached. Merchandise must be unwashed, unworn and undamaged for exchange or store credit." 

My rationale: 21 days. Not a month. Not I forgot. 21 days. That's all you get. If you really don't think you're going to want it, don't fucking buy it. And if you do buy it, be forewarned you will never see your money again. Except for a plastic card from us that is called STORE CREDIT. And if you wear it, you're fucked. At every end. So don't even think about popping those tags unless you're in it to win it. Popped tags will be used against you.

And as far as the cigarette scented clothing, you did not buy it like that either. Don't even try it.

Corporate: "Sale merchandise and jewelry are all FINAL sale items and cannot be returned or exchanged for store credit."

My rationale: Really, you're really going to try to return a $2.00 necklace? This is non negotiable. Unless there's a defect on our part, consider yourself 100% committed. That also goes for the lovely item marked in red. That means it's ON SALE. Don't pretend you didn't notice. 

Corporate: "Store credit is not redeemable for cash and is non-transferable. Store credit and gift cards cannot be replaced if lost and stolen." 

My rationale: Don't even carry your ass over here trying to get anything other than an item in the store. If you don't want it, leave it for someone else to fight over. You break you buy. You lose your store ain't getting another one. 

Corporate: "Gift cards are not redeemable for cash unless required by law. For more information on gift cards, including states where they are redeemable for cash please visit"

My rationale: I wish the law would get involved. Over a gift card. Why does anyone even try to return gift cards for cash? Kinda tacky. And I would love to find the states that allow this.(goes to 


My rationale: Nowhere does that say if I use my credit or debit that I can get it back on my card since I'm not using cash. It actually spells it out, very nicely. It says NO.MOTHER.FUCKING.MONEY.BACK. I don't even know what loop holes you THINK you're finding....

What I actually say, assuming I get actual responses:

How are you today?
Did you find everything alright?


(Oh that smart mouth has nothing to say ay?)
Are you familiar with our exchange policy?
(OH. Okay. Now you hear me.)
"You have 21 days to return your items for store credit or exchange, we don't do any refunds, however all of our jewelry and sale items are final sale."
If that isn't simple enough than I don't know what is. 

What I really want to say:

You can't get your fucking money back.

Top five best responses:

5. I can't get no money back? Well Ion won't this. (walks away)


4. Well can I get it back on my card? No refunds at all? Wow, that's an awful policy. (No shit sherlock.) 

3. Is this a new policy? (It's been like this since it was created.) 


1. Ok. (insert ascending of the angels music) 

A bitch has been way too late posting. My bad. 

But the stories are just about to begin.



The facts ft. Retail Robin

May something 2008,

I finally applied to the one place in the mall I believe hired me because I was there enough to clock in and get paid for it.
Might as well.
At the time I already had a million women ask me if I worked there, and six years later it hasn't changed. "Excuse me, miss, do you work here?"
No ma'am, I just wear this bright neon badge that says XXI Employee for fun, and they also let me play on the cash register too. Lucky me.

Please hold for more genius questions later.

The girls, queens, divas, and boys who have grown to be a somewhat dysfunctional family to me can all agree we've all had our fair share of genius questions. Oh, but we dared not answer in that manner. Oh, absolutely not.

Do you think I've kept a job there this long by "speaking my mind?" Moreover, speaking my mind in a distasteful manner? No.No.No.NO.

You wouldn't believe half of the things I've told people and all of the things I'm about to tell you. 

We need to go through some fundamental things first, before we get to the good stuff. Just some basic things so we're speaking the same language and we're on the same page when you go from page to page.
I don't want you to feel "bad" (even though I'm sure you won't) or even get mad, or try to fix the retail issue. Start riots and shit? Don't even worry about it. It's not your fault I chose this industry for the past few years. Just laugh with me, at both of our sometimes ridiculous behavior.
Some of you may agree, some of you may not. But this is from our perspectives. The girls' who keep this white wonderland together, perspectives. 

Please bear with me as I go through the facts.



1. I (we) have a natural sass that is sometimes (all the time) misunderstood. I am not demeaning anyone, nor am I saying that I agree with the decisions I'm left to make but at the end of the day, it's my JOB. I HAVE to say and do the things I do. Because they pay me. NOT YOU. You just hand me the money while I put it in the drawer. WHICH MAY have you think you're entitled to re arrange the decision process, but believe me. You're not. And you aren't the first, and unfortunately won't be the last. 


2. Some people really start the whole process on the wrong foot. When you begin awfully prepare NOT to be happy with the results. 


3. This is like fast food fashion. We are not your top of the line designer boutique, even though the latest runway haute couture inspirations can be found in our store as soon as the next day, or even before. The truth remains we are a huge chain with a list of corporate rules, guidelines, and handbooks to follow. 

4. We have a bagillion items in our store. I refuse to be labeled as an unfit employee because you choose to describe a denim vest as a jean jacket with no sleeves, and "really want this black dress" that you misplaced and I can't find. Lady have you looked around, there are like a hundred thousand black dresses, that match your vague description. 


5. We work our asses off to keep that place together. Here you come and fuck it up in 2.5 seconds. It's expected and now even painfully acceptable, however you complaining about the mess that YOU make, is NOT. 


6. The amount of things we each have to do at one given moment can almost be compared to nothing. I can't think of anything. Especially when we have call outs. So you complaining about the line being long is not going to make another person magically appear in place of our lack of persons. We ring fast as shit, and by the time you even manage to put your words together to make a complaint, I just handed you your receipt, answered a phone call, looked up an item, and grabbed a size small down from the top with my tool. *Hair flip* 

7. Sometimes the sass comes from feeling child labored. I changed my mind. One CAN compare the amount of work we do to that of a sweat shop. The sad truth is most of our clothes come from there too. It's no secret. If you didn't know it's all over the internet. I'm not exposing the company I've worked for, I'm merely stating the obvious. So I dare someone to get mad and sue. 

8. For you to think I have time to steam, iron, sew a button, and tailor your dress with that long ass line I just finished talking about is absurd. Yes, I did say sweat shop, but we don't have them in the back waiting around to fix these minor issues. It's a $15.00 shirt, not a Tom Ford blouse from Bloomingdale's. 

9. The fitting room is an entirely different story on its own.

10. So is the store policy. 

So are the thieves, the threats, and even the gun shot. Yes, the gun shot. 

Ok so yes, we are here to be respectful, and a lot of this can be seen as a confession to most (except to the ones who witnessed) but for the rest of you, take this as a friend venting after a long, long, LONG day of work. 

The whole customer is right thing has been taken advantage of here. TRUST ME. 

Actually. It's not RIGHT AT ALL. 

After a while someone hits the wrong button, and you ask yourself, "HOLD UP, am I getting paid enough for you to talk to me like I'm some scum?" My own parents don't even talk to me like that, so WHO ARE YOU? 

What happened to you gotta give respect to get it? Retail has shown me how nasty people can be over some damn $2.80 nail polish. RELAX. 

To be quite frank, bitches be pushing their limits. AND YES, like I said it is my job to be nice, so I would try and hold my tongue to hold my position. But I can assure you when you threaten my well being, it no longer becomes about my job. It becomes about you and ME. 

Two gladiators. In an arena. In my mind. And I.....have to FORFEIT. If I don't, who knows what would happen. Those natural animal instincts become so strong I have to recite "down girl, easy tiger, she is NOT WORTH IT," like a million times. 

The only mechanism to rule: sarcasm. Again, don't take it personally. It becomes harder and harder to maintain that innocent positive attitude after so long.

But, when you guys are nice, it makes us SO HAPPY. I could literally cry. 

On the flip side, I have re occurring customers that adore me. And vice versa. They respect my taste and advice, and always know I keep it real, not bull shit to make a sale. It's not even commission anyways. I have zero to lie for. So it ISN'T all bad. 

Even the bad shit ends up being a story to tell, which is why I thought, after centuries, we have to share these stories. We just have too. 

There has never been a more interesting place to work for, and in the words of one of the most amazing divas I've ever met, I quote, "You gotta be a tough cookie to work here honey." 

Yes. And that we are. So I can imagine we all have attitude adjustments to make, and some customer work on but at the end of the day, NO ONE else could've kept that place together, except for us. 




And so it begins...again

Dear (new) diary,

I have commitment issues.

I may have other blogs floating around in cyber space that I've left for new ones, but I promise to be good to you. I have so much to say. I always have. 

Especially on this topic. This happens to be about the past six years of my life that I've dedicated to a place that sometimes (all the time) feels like hell, yet I've continued to be faithful to. Ergo, my commitment issues. 

Why are we always committed to the things that aren't great to us? Maybe there's a glimmer of hope in dust, but this shit was actually quite entertaining despite me losing what little patience I had to begin with.

Follow me on this "blog" or whatever, for the stories that I will pull out of my ass (brain damage) to tell you ALL about the last six years of dedication to fashion, retail, friends, thieves, dust bunnies, and stories that you will only hear (read) from ME.