Key: ()= internal thoughts.
Ahhh, the store policy. The most controversial thing about XXI.
You know what's really funny actually...
I've said the exchange policy countless times. Since I work there and all.
But in my own words.
Ain't nobody trynna say that whole novel with those four dollar words.
With that being said, I wanted to get the actual version verbatim and put it on here so I could tear it apart. So I did what anyone else would do.
I googled it.
Much not to my surprise I did not find the actual store policy. Instead I found the policy for purchases online. Yes, there is a slight difference. I imagined myself a customer looking for the store policy, and not finding it kind of enraged me. So FOREVER 21 why don't we do something about that?
See, I got your back when it calls for it.
Than I bought some panties. Got a receipt. And now here it is.
The store policy. STRAIGHT from the receipt. With my rationale added.
Corporate: "Exchange or store credit is allowed within 21 days of purchase with original receipt and tags attached. Merchandise must be unwashed, unworn and undamaged for exchange or store credit."
My rationale: 21 days. Not a month. Not I forgot. 21 days. That's all you get. If you really don't think you're going to want it, don't fucking buy it. And if you do buy it, be forewarned you will never see your money again. Except for a plastic card from us that is called STORE CREDIT. And if you wear it, you're fucked. At every end. So don't even think about popping those tags unless you're in it to win it. Popped tags will be used against you.
And as far as the cigarette scented clothing, you did not buy it like that either. Don't even try it.
Corporate: "Sale merchandise and jewelry are all FINAL sale items and cannot be returned or exchanged for store credit."
My rationale: Really, you're really going to try to return a $2.00 necklace? This is non negotiable. Unless there's a defect on our part, consider yourself 100% committed. That also goes for the lovely item marked in red. That means it's ON SALE. Don't pretend you didn't notice.
Corporate: "Store credit is not redeemable for cash and is non-transferable. Store credit and gift cards cannot be replaced if lost and stolen."
My rationale: Don't even carry your ass over here trying to get anything other than an item in the store. If you don't want it, leave it for someone else to fight over. You break you buy. You lose your store credit...you ain't getting another one.
Corporate: "Gift cards are not redeemable for cash unless required by law. For more information on gift cards, including states where they are redeemable for cash please visit http://ww.forever21.com."
My rationale: I wish the law would get involved. Over a gift card. Why does anyone even try to return gift cards for cash? Kinda tacky. And I would love to find the states that allow this.(goes to forever21.com.)
Corporate: "THERE ARE NO CASH REFUNDS OR CREDIT BACK TO CREDIT/DEBIT CARDS."
My rationale: Nowhere does that say if I use my credit or debit that I can get it back on my card since I'm not using cash. It actually spells it out, very nicely. It says NO.MOTHER.FUCKING.MONEY.BACK. I don't even know what loop holes you THINK you're finding....
What I actually say, assuming I get actual responses:
How are you today?
Did you find everything alright?
(Oh that smart mouth has nothing to say ay?)
Are you familiar with our exchange policy?
"WHAT IS IT?"
(OH. Okay. Now you hear me.)
"You have 21 days to return your items for store credit or exchange, we don't do any refunds, however all of our jewelry and sale items are final sale."
If that isn't simple enough than I don't know what is.
What I really want to say:
You can't get your fucking money back.
Top five best responses:
5. I can't get no money back? Well Ion won't this. (walks away)
4. Well can I get it back on my card? No refunds at all? Wow, that's an awful policy. (No shit sherlock.)
3. Is this a new policy? (It's been like this since it was created.)
2. Yeah, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE HAHA. (badumpah.no.)
1. Ok. (insert ascending of the angels music)
A bitch has been way too late posting. My bad.
But the stories are just about to begin.